Everything Fell Into Place In God’s Perfect Time

Dr. Deborah A. Javier, Professor

The most challenging and difficult times in my life happened when I was only 16 years old. Back then in 1991, after graduating from high school, I felt that my future was uncertain since my parents cannot afford to send me to college. We were suffering from extreme financial difficulty and at the same time my parents got separated. During this time, I questioned God on why I have to be born in this family and suffer this much at a very young age. I cannot fathom everything that was happening around me. It was very devastating when all of classmates were very excited to look for a university where they can enroll, I was just at home praying, crying, worrying, and thinking of what the future holds for me since there was really no chance for me to go to college. I felt that going to college was just an impossible dream.

One afternoon while I was lying down on our bamboo chair, my face lit up when I heard an announcement from the radio that there was an available scholarship for indigent students. Without wasting any time, I asked my sister to accompany me to the provincial capitol to inquire about the scholarship. It was there that I learned that the private scholarship was for students who graduated with honors. Knowing that I was qualified having graduated from high school with honors, I was euphoric thinking that this was God’s answer to my prayer. Fortunately, I qualified but it will take time to process everything. At that time, the semester in my dream university was about to start and if I will not be able to meet the deadline meaning to say I will not be able to enroll. I felt so hopeless and angry at the same time.

After a few days, my cousin who is a working student in my dream university asked me if I wanted to become a working student too. I felt optimistic and excitedly said yes. On the same day, my heart was filled with excitement as we travelled to Baguio where I began to process my application as a working student. After passing the test and the interview, I got the job. My dream of entering the university beaconed amidst the dark clouds which hovered around my uncertain future. However, everything was not laid out for me in a silver platter, so to speak. I had to work and study at the same time, a not so inviting proposition for a neophyte soul like me. I became a working student at the tender age of 16 when my other classmates had all the time to focus on their studies. Soon, I was doing the dishes in one in one of the canteens in the university while at the same time adjusting to the rigors of college academic work. It’s really taxing having to juggle my time as a student and as a dishwasher. I was in the classroom as a student from 7 to 12 and in the company of used kitchen utensils from 1-5 in the afternoon. It was very tough physically, emotionally and mentally. During this time, I suffered from inferiority complex, I felt dumb, stupid and weak. I totally lost my self-confidence. I got sick very often and I cried every night thinking of my situation.

It might be exaggerating to some but there were even times that I did not even have anything to eat. I just slept with an empty rumbling stomach. I even divide Lucky Me noodles to make it into two meals just to survive. While everyone was excited to go home for the summer/Christmas vacation, I only felt sadness because I did not have money for my fare to go back to my hometown. I have to stay with the family of the university canteen cook “Manang” C, at their house in Aurora Hill during the semestral break instead of going home to my province. I stayed strong with all the hardships that I have to endure because of my faith in GOD. What kept me holding on to fight for my dreams was believing that there is GOD, I talked and cried to God every night before I go to bed and prayed that my situation will change.

Before the first semester ended, I received the good news that changed my life forever. My scholarship arrived and I had to urgently make a decision on whether I had to take the scholarship or to continue as a working student. Young and frail as I was at that time, I cannot readily come up with a decision. Again, I cried and prayed to God to enlighten me to make the right decision for my future. While I was praying, I suddenly remembered Father E, the Belgian priest who interpreted our diagnostic test. I vividly remembered when he said that “if you need help and guidance about anything just come to the guidance office and look for me”. Right there and then, I rushed to the guidance office and look for him. I patiently waited for two hours before I finally met him. I told him what was bothering me and asked him to help me make the right decision. I explained to him that if I take the scholarship nobody will pay for my dormitory fee. Father E and I had a very long conversation. He inquired about my family background and I honestly told him everything. At the end of our conversation Father E realized that nobody in my family can support my studies except myself. Our talk ended with so much hope, Father E told me to take my scholarship and he will be the one to pay for my dormitory fee for 8 semesters, yes for 8 semesters that is until I graduate. This will only be possible on one condition, I have to show him the results of my quizzes, examinations and grades. On that day, I went out of the guidance office full of hope and with a thankful heart.

The next day I filed my resignation as a dishwasher and accepted my scholarship. Little by little I regained my confidence. Everything fell into place, my English professor who was a friend of Father E offered to help me financially with my allowance and “Manang” C asked me to wash their clothes every weekend for me to have an extra money. At that time, I was so amazed at how GOD worked in my life. Just imagine, I did not know anybody when I went to Baguio but GOD sent these people to help me.

Before the end of the first semester, I received another good news. I got my second scholarship. Yes, you heard it right I was granted another scholarship. This may seem unbelievable but it is true. With the benefit of two scholarships, instead of me paying the university for my tuition fees, I even received a refund every end of the semester. GOD was so good to me that HE made everything fell into place in HIS perfect time.

As I reminisce this chapter in my life, I cannot even begin to imagine how a frail-looking, docile and poor girl from the province will make it in her dream university. Up to this time it still amazed me how GOD worked in my life, without HIM everything would not have been possible.

To those who feel so hopeless about their situation, please keep the faith. If GOD, did it to me, HE will do it to everyone else that HE created.

As of now, I am already working an English professor and I am happily married to a lawyer. I am enjoying my ultimate dream to have a complete family. We have two beautiful children who served as our inspiration to keep going. My life now is not ideal/perfect but a lot better than my life 31 years ago. Let me leave you with this line, “Life is not perfect but it can be beautiful if we pray hard and put GOD at the center of our lives. “