Fueling My Life with the Power of Prayer

Jennifer T. Lazo, MAT, English Professor / Author

Born in a Catholic religion and obtained my primary and secondary education from the Benedictine School in Taal, Batangas, I grew up carrying the Benedictine Motto, “ORA ET LABORA”, which means “PRAY AND WORK”. My maternal side are all Catholics so I am adaptive to their practices from the church and the school. Part of our devotion to God is praying the novena and the rosary to different saints and to the Blessed Virgin Mary. Having lived with my maternal elders, I learned to pray the Angelus and I was their favorite companion to the church on worship days, I have deepen my Catholic faith and have somehow intensified my commitment in devotional Marian organizations ran by our school. Recollecting from my teenage years, I have served the church by being mass commentator on Saturdays. Nevertheless, my service did not last long when I stayed in Manila for college. Obviously, I have been a Catholic believer since then.

Moving back to my early childhood days, I questioned many instances in my life particularly on situations of deprivation and inferiority. Given our socio-economic condition at that time, I would seldom join educational trips or excursions, social clubs and activities, and other events concerning money. I was just used to obeying my mother’s decisions and keeping sentiments within. Those were the times I had kept and established private conversations with God. I would tell him my cares, my frustrations, my deprivations, my issues. I would even ask Him to give me immediate answers to all my concerns that were bothersome and made me impatient. But after some reflecting, I also got a ray of understanding. I knew in my heart God was answering me through His marvelous presence and immense guidance.

Being raised from a quite big family, an extended structure, where all my older siblings went to school, requiring huge expenses, I have become used to accepting my situation. I survived with my strong values and my daily prayers. I realized how blessed I have been compared to others, who were in a state of extreme poverty and adversity at that time.

When I went to college, a different phase in my spirituality became more challenging and really shaky. I escalated my exposure to diverse people, places, beliefs, and practices, including the facets of spirituality and religion. My classmates, who had diverse religious backgrounds, were instrumental to my growing awareness on this human aspect. I got along with them well and shared views and perspectives about life and its continuing struggles, battles, and frailties, along with the lessons of hope, strength, and positivity. That was the time I got to tell myself to respect other’s beliefs and doctrines. I have acquired immunity on critics and issues of diversity. I went with the flow and learned to dance with the tune.

As years went by, temptations lurked and my faith was severely tested. I had to deal with people who have lax values and low morals. They pushed me to delve in their paths. I tried to get in but at a certain point in my life, I was being spared. I got hit in the head and in the heart when I saw how miserably and undesirably yielding the consequences could get.

The most excruciating point of my college life was the sudden demise of my closest sibling, my older brother. He was my companion all my life. We were sharing a boarding room and independently living in there. He was at the peak of his teaching career when he passed on. I was graduating in college in 1994. That very moment I was emotionally crippled and smashed. I questioned God and doubted my faith. I felt my spirit and faith crashed in an instant. It took me years and tears to heal within. It was the most unbearable time to deal with. My aunt, who plays our second parent in Manila, introduced me to a Parish Priest in Sampaloc. The kind priest would consistently give me prayer pamphlets and would patiently invite us to spiritual events where I was having second thoughts of going. I would turn down his invites and made excuses. I felt there was no purpose for such. My aunt would persistently encourage me to pray the rosary and join her in the novena prayer. Not to dismay her, I simply pretended to be with her with insincere intent within. I was not seriously attentive with her. It was just a showoff and I was faking my emotions and fooling myself. I was fully aware of how displeasing I was to God. Despite my conscious knowledge, I gave in to my sort of distrust.

One solitary night, I felt so depressing. I had a dream. I saw my brother frowning at me. I saw him full of blood all over his body. I was yelling and crying loudly. My brother died in my dream. He was telling me to pray for him. He showed me our church, where he was laid to rest. He bid farewell with a face lit up and happy. That was the time I literally woke up and got to my senses. I got his message clearly. He was telling me to restore my faith and live my life the way I have been. I just found myself at one instance started to say my prayer routines and held myself back to my usual practices. It did not occur overnight but it was a learning process that has essentially taught me to move on and recharge my faith and strength. I realized that God has put me to this most desolate place for a greater purpose, to renew my virtues, and to restore what has been lost.

I entered my teaching career in 1995. It is indeed a missionary and noble profession as many have claimed. I felt the rewarding merits and ends of this profession. I met new friends. I have had good ones until now. I thankfully met my husband and we have built the family we love to have. God has blessed us with three children. We have lived in simplicity and contentment. Typically like other families, we are imperfect. We have had our share of flaws and failures. Though we have been tried as a family, we have stood unyielding and have stayed with one another through the best and worst of times.

While bringing up my children in their growing up years, I met a serious accident. My left foot was severely injured. It happened during our school Christmas party. I excitingly joined in a group ball game. I slipped and fell down. I could not move my left foot since it was injured. I thought it was a minor sprain but the bone in my ankle was fractured and found my left foot swollen. I had consulted three medical doctors telling me to have an immediate surgery. The recuperation period would take long with no assurance of getting back to my normal walk. It was during the Holy Week that I did my devotional novena prayers and recitation of the holy rosary. My husband and I were decided to have the surgery done the soonest possible time. After a week, I chanced upon my aunt with a brother in law who is an orthopedic surgeon. He advised me for another examination for my leg down to my foot. Unbelievably, the result was negative for surgery. I just had to undergo minor therapy exercises/activities to straighten my walk and to be able to move normally using my left foot. At that time, I went to church and gave back all glory, thanks, and praises to God for such amazing miracle. On that same day, I was able to walk normally as if nothing or no serious injury happened. I was a living testimony of God’s miracle of healing and faith.

In 2015, we, in our family, was tried the hardest, my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. I felt the world fell apart. I was gone back to the same kind of hurting I felt when my brother was taken away from us. It was a scar, an emotional scar that refreshed bad times and memories. It has gotten deep wounds when my mother passed on. I was questioning God in my mind for in my heart I was bleeding tremendously. I was breaking apart. In my most painful time, I witnessed the solid and unconditional love and support of my family. I saw them praying ardently. They held my back and opened my heart to acceptance. My spirit soared and directed me to a different kind of feeling. It was very uplifting and enlightening. Something crossed my troubled mind and spotted my weakened heart. Indeed, there is a reason behind our tears, our aches, our troubles, our fears, and our trials. God has a more profound purpose for every situation we face. God is the only answer to our doubt and disbelief. He is the only certain and absolute truth in this world of deception and mistrust.

I still have my share of trials in this present time but I let God maneuver my direction. In 2019, my husband was diagnosed with early stages of depression. He was also detected with mild diabetes. With an empowered spirit and my constant shield of prayers and devotion to God, we are surviving and we are positively facing them on. I, too, suffer from hypertensive crisis. I have had suffered from it in 2014 that triggered in 2015 but I keep holding on to the most unbreakable and powerful weapon of all against illnesses, problems, accidents, and disasters, my daily dose of prayers. I have proven in my life that God’s presence is strongly working when we pray from the heart. God answers. God cares. God loves and heals like no other in this world. Now, I believe that it just takes one prayer to change everything. God listens even in silence, when our hearts can no longer bear the heavy load. When the world has become too worrisome and burdensome, we pray and let them go. We pray and trust God to carry us on and fuel our faith and future with Him.